Written By Alan Good
I made it! I’m out! The surgery to remove a cancerous kidney was a success and I am healing nicely at home. My hospital stay, according to the surgeon, was to be 4-5 days, however I went home the day after surgery. A great accomplishment, or so I thought.
All set for a few nights in hospital, my laptop had links to some online studies, and the time was to be used for some quiet reflection. But I’ll admit, before the operation, the fear of staying any length of time outweighed any perceived risk of surgery. For weeks prior to the surgery, I stressed over being away from home and sleeping in a strange (and somewhat noisy) place.
Later, I contemplated why I worried and have noticed increased times of anxiety in the past few years. The questions I asked were, “What has worrying done for you? Did it help your situation?”
Usually, as in my case, we fret and fume only to arrive at the event and find it not at all the way we imagined. And that’s the key word: imagined. By allowing my thoughts to dwell on what might happen, which is no more than a phantom, my body was already geared for some challenge, a challenge that may not come.
All my worries about the timing of surgery, will they get all the cancer, will the surgeon be on point or tired, and will I heal quickly, were in vain. Besides my early release, my room was in the corner of the hospital on the top floor, and I enjoyed a panoramic view. The health specialists were great and helpful—caring for me greatly.
As written in other articles, being in shape helped get me back on the road sooner. I was walking the neighbourhood the next day and cut my grass one week after surgery.
However, mentally I lagged behind my body and believe its healing was delayed. If my thoughts had been more of faith than fear, perhaps my body would cooperate. But it’s a choice always. Worry verses trust. Fear verses faith. Worry verses faith.
I read this a while ago, “I will not barter away the actual for the hypothetical. I will not borrow the anxieties and distresses of tomorrow, to aggravate those of the present day, nor let the unknown and unknowable move me.”
Worry is not living, it’s spinning uselessly. Anxiety can’t add to the situation, but it can exacerbate it. Working on an attitude (or altitude) of gratitude lifts one from pain to living.
Mark twain said, “My life has been filled with terrible tragedies, most of which never happened.”
Speculating about what MAY happen but never happens defeats life. Accepting graciously what occurs is how we should live. Not looking ahead in stressfulness but living presently in mindfulness is the way to go.
