Written By Alan Good
My father-in-law once told me of advice he had taken from a dentist regarding a non-dental issue and another time he came back from a family physician’s appointment with stock market advice. Many people take their doctor’s instructions about their disease at face value, too.
Continuing with the book, “Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest”, by Doctors Samantha Winemaker and Hsien Seow, they point out that knowing yourself is primary when going to medical appointments or procedures. We assume the doctor knows best what is best for us.
Often doctors and medical practitioners trust x-rays or scans to tell them why you are hurting, and don’t ask you enough questions. In a series of videos shown to potential doctors, the medical students were told to ask patients, “Is there anything else you would like to tell me?” Looking carefully one can see their heads shaking as if to say, “No, please don’t tell me any more!”
As pointed out in the book, knowing yourself is a primary need and if you fail to communicate your wishes, “you are at high risk of receiving care you do not want”. They are not talking about rudely demanding your rights or questioning everything the medical staff say but coming up with a customized plan that your doctor, you, and your support people can live with.
It’s about trade-offs and priorities. For instance, after my recent surgery I was told I would have a CT scan six months from the operation, in May. Instead, I received an appointment letter to see the surgeon in the middle of March—10 months after the event. “Protocol”, was the reason given for me waiting six plus months. Sometimes doctors, overwhelmed by appointments, lean on rules or guidelines instead of listening to their patients.
I trust my doctor, who I’ve been with for nine years. He knows his trade. But the timeframe, to me, is too long. So, on my next appointment with him, this month, I plan on addressing—respectfully—my concerns.
Whether you want to be cared for at home, or in the hospital, who you wish to be your caregivers, and more, should be decisions you make. In the last edition we looked at knowing your character and what you can, and cannot, accept when confronted with challenges. When you have a handle on your character you can then plan how you receive information and care.
Ask yourself questions like, “What things do I value most?” and “What are my biggest fears and worries about the future?” From the answers you can formulate a set of guiding principles. These can help with treatment decisions, changes in the place of care and personal care, and financial decisions.
Share your values with those supporting you. Doctors talk about a “ripple affect”, or how your current illness touches others. They add that proxies—those who know you best and what you want and can make decisions on your behalf should you reach a stage of incapacity—are a good part of this planning.
Talking about the above may not be for everyone; however, as in all things, planning can make things go smoother and assure you have the best of care.
