Written By John Caverhill
For the past while, I have been basking in the warmth of birthday greetings from family and friends, and let me tell you, all the money in the world can’t buy the wonderful glow one feels at a time like this. I do feel; however, a bit like I am taking credit under false pretenses. Living to be ninety years old is not done from personal choice like choosing a career. To graduate from college, become successful in business (this includes farming), or become a famous musician or athlete takes years of hard work and learning the required skills. To become ninety years old simply takes years.
Imagine the following dialogue between an adult and a four-year-old kid. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The youngster lisps, “I wanna grow up to be ninety!”
There are two good reasons why this dialogue would never take place. First, it’s impossible to lisp the words, “I wanna grow up to be ninety.” Second, the thought of growing old isn’t even on a four-year-old’s radar. For a kid, to try to picture being ninety years old would be like you or me trying to visualize the distance represented by 1000 light-years of travel through space.
Naturally people want to live a long time but beyond living a reasonably healthy lifestyle, how long you live is due entirely to factors beyond your control. Bluntly speaking, I think your lifespan is a matter of luck or fate or whatever you want to call it and this is why I feel like I’m taking credit for something I didn’t do. Having now completed my confession, let me assure you that any guilt feelings I may have are not nearly strong enough to keep me from celebrating my good fortune and having a good time with family and friends.
Time out for a story about
living longer:
A married couple in their early seventies both had health problems, so the wife switched them from their less-than-ideal high-calorie diet to wholesome goodies like fresh water and bran muffins. Thanks to this healthy but boring lifestyle, they lived to their mid-eighties when their earthly lives were terminated by a car accident. After being welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, an angel then gave them an introductory tour of Paradise. Rolling parklands, flowerbeds, sandy beaches, sparkling lakes with cascading waterfalls, tree-shaded bowers interspersed with beautiful buildings that revealed inviting interiors including tables laden with enticing foods and beverages, unfolded before their eyes like a beautiful dream. The wandering couple couldn’t believe it was real but the smiling angel assured them that this was Paradise and it was theirs to enjoy for eternity. Suddenly the husband faced his wife and burst out, “If it wasn’t for you and your dam’ bran muffins, we could have been up here years ago!”
“How do you feel now you’ve turned ninety?” is a question often asked of people celebrating this landmark number (I confess to asking this question myself of people in a similar situation). Now, having reached this plateau myself, I realize the answer, of course, is that I feel the same as I did the day before I turned ninety. The handsome document I received from our Governor-General congratulating me on reaching my ninetieth-year states ‘Your experience is valuable and respected and we can all learn from the wisdom you have to share.’ However, I didn’t wake up on the morning of my ninetieth birthday, my eyes aglow with the accumulated wisdom of ninety years. Looking out my front window, I saw no crowd of knowledge-seekers waiting at my front door for my penetrating pronouncements upon current political situations around the world or unusual weather conditions due to climate change.
Summing up, my life after ninety will probably continue much as it did before I turned ninety, until, quoting P. G. Wodehouse, I ‘hand in my dinner pail’.
To close, here is some advice on how to live longer. Have as many birthdays as you can because the people with the most birthdays live the longest.
