Written By Alan Good
The term “solo ager” has been around for some time. It applies to an older adult, typically 50 or older, who is aging without the support of spouse or children. Solo agers are individuals who are experiencing aging as a “party of one,” highlighting the unique challenges and opportunities of this demographic.
As people live longer and live in their own homes, solo aging has increased. Sometimes these people have no one to depend on when in a medical challenge such as going for results from tests or after surgery.
In a Toronto Star article, the term “elder orphans” is used and it stated in Canada, “more people are aging without kids or kin than in almost any other country”.
“A recent study found Canada ranked fourth, with roughly 1 in 10 older adults having no spouse or biological child,” the missive added.
Because of this loneliness can be a public health issue. Research has shown isolation can lead to debilitating physical and psychological conditions among older Canadians. For many, as they age, social networks dwindle, coworkers disconnect due to time, illness or death.
Support usually falls to kin, but where there are no kin available, who is there to step in and help a senior maintain independence? As seen above, many Canadians face this question, and the following can also apply to those with support.
Recently, Lucan’s Community Centre played host to a couple of people who are concerned over this issue. Doctors Samantha Winemaker and Hsien Seow host podcasts called The Waiting Room Revolution and have written a book offering tips on how to support solo agers (and others) when faced with a life changing diagnosis.
You might say they are advocates for advocating. When someone is to receive a diagnosis, whether at a doctor’s office or in a hospital, having someone they trust standing close by can make the difference in recovery. By leaning in and listening to the medical professionals the support person can hear, ask questions and later interpret or relay information to the patient.
Winemaker and Seow attest that families are the best for this, but a close friend or caring acquaintance will do. Often people receiving news from a doctor, for example, loose perspective and forget to ask vital questions. The important thing is for the supporting person to get the message right—taking notes if necessary—so they can explain it later.
The authors state doctors who appear to be under stress for time will take the time to explain if they see that someone is paying attention. Asking, with respect, will gain more answers and clarity than aggressive questions.
Asking open-ending questions about where things are now, what’s next, and timelines, are the way to go, not demands. If you don’t have children or a trusted friend, they recommend asking someone who is organized to ask questions of medical staff. In other words, someone who will stand for you.
Whether you are capable or need support, taking the time to write down questions for medical personnel helps to understand your situation and better make decisions.
